


Love Me Not

by Let_Moca_Top_Ran



Series: Love is Messy [1]
Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22226488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Let_Moca_Top_Ran/pseuds/Let_Moca_Top_Ran
Summary: Hina wants love, Aya gives love.But when everything falls apart and the secretly, mentally weak Hina ends up in a not so nice scenario with Aya.And when i mean not so nice, i mean screaming and cutting and other suicidal stuff.Fun.
Relationships: Hazawa Tsugumi/Hikawa Sayo, Hikawa Hina/Maruyama Aya
Series: Love is Messy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1640206
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is my "first". 
> 
> It really just for me to fucking dwell into how much I fucking love HinaAya. 
> 
> And I actually feel bad for making Hina go thru this shit but if depressed Kazumi is canon ( which I might write about), depressed Hina might be a go.
> 
> If your not willing to see my poor girl Hina filling herself with suicidal thoughts and ideals, or just bad things in general.
> 
> This might not be the best one for you.
> 
> Why am I doing this you may ask.  
> 1) I may have mentioned, I fucking love HinaAya.  
> 2) It's good English practice.
> 
> EDIT: Changed some parts to fit the whole series, I didn't want to make this a series at first but yeah. It is now.

_24/12 7.30 am (Present)_

The morning sky shone bright blue as rays of golden light shimmy through the gaps in the curtain of clouds. The birds chirp in the background layering a chorus of sounds one may choose to savor or hate. 

For Hina, Hikawa Hina, it's the later. 

Covering herself with another layer of blanket and futon, Hina struggles to drown out the sound of those horrendous birds. Don't get her wrong, she loves birds. 

When they are not busy ruining her sleep schedule of course. 

As if on cue, the birds chirps seems to be a calling for the morning rush as vehicles zoom past her window, dogs bark and people chat about everything under the sun.

"Fuck"

Hina sat up, trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes. Her sea-green eyes blinking rapidly trying to blink away whatever recipes for stewed birds she may have thought of on the spot.

She was never really _ **that**_ good at cooking anyway. All she did was nail a Beef Wellington in her cooking class. Nothing mu-

Shit, she really has to stop showing off.

Slapping herself awake, she takes a breath and gets up. 

Despite her many requests to share a room with Sayo, she actually appreciates the privacy, can't let the reputation drop, right? Not that she'll ever admit that anyway.

Taking a look at the mirror in the room, she shivers, has she been crying again yesterday? 

Shaking the thoughts from her head, she can't. She cannot do this anymore, but it was too late. She knees grew weak, weaker then slush. Hina drops onto her knees.

"No.. I don't wanna...."

* * *

_24/11 2 Months after Hina's confession (Past)_

Hina woke up with a start. Rolling off one's bed requires skills and many years of experience. Sadly for Hina, that's exactly what she has. 

Sighing out-loud. She feels her body all worn out and tired as if she turned into a pile of sand bags slowly sliding of the table. The workout session with her onee-chan was not her idea of a "fun time out".

Looking around to make sure no smoke was seen. She quickly rushes towards her phone which was charging silently. Sayo always told her not to charge overnight, but what are the odds of a actual fire starting? 

_9.11 am_

Heaving a sigh of relive, Hina smiles, she did not oversleep. Fine, maybe she did but how bad can it get to be late 11 minutes right? She rushes into her closet to pick out an outfit, she was supposed to meet the rest of the band at the studio at 9.30 am, at this rate, she'll be extremely late, and Hina has a very lax idea of what being "late" is.

* * *

_24/11 9.36 am_

"Onee-chan **~** " Hina grabs Sayo from behind, "I'm so tired, why did we go for that run again?" Hina complains when adjusting her shirt.

"For your information, it was your idea to go for the run and literally dragged me out of the house." Sayo glares. 

Oops. 

"Anyway~, thanks for following me onee-chan," Hina smiles, showing her teeth in a big toothy grin. Sayo mentally reminds herself not to look directly into Hina's teeth, she could swear that Hina blinded at least 3 people just by smiling at them.

"I never wanted to go anywhere with you in any case."

"Owie **~** , onee-chan **~.** You didn't need to be so direct..." Hina pouts. "But i guess i could let it slide you admit you admit you proposed to Tsugu-chan"

Sayo's face turns bright red with embarrassment, there no way Sayo would give _that_ information that easily, she doesn't even know how Hina could find out. Unless...

"Onee-chan do you know that i could unlock your phone due to face recognition?" Hina asked casually, tilting her head sideways, innocently blinking at Sayo.

Sometimes, little sisters can be curses, especially if she is a certain teal haired, 3 billion IQ, part of one of Japan's growing musical bands, has the uncanny ability to learn almost everything in one try and for some reason looks exactly like Sayo. She sometimes really questions her fate. Even worst, that certain girl knew hot to get on her nerves, and she does it _well._

"Th-that's none of your business, stay out of it." Sayo stutters, her voice barely understandable. 

Hina just gives her twin her infamous shit-eating grin, this is _amazing_ blackmail material. But for the other twin, the situation is almost the polar opposite.

Sadly for Sayo, Hina has zero shame and openly flaunts her relationship with Maruyama Aya, leaving zero space of Sayo to exploit. You can't really tease someone about their secret relationship when their relationship is literally an open book. Only Moca-san can do that, and Sayo Is no Moca.

"Well, at least Hina's happy." Sayo thought to herself. Despite her being mean to Hina on the outside, she actually sometimes hates herself for it. 

Yeah, Hina might be a fucking idiot sometimes and a bane to her existence. But Sayo Is still her onee-chan and she loves her dear.

She can never win, can she. Sayo lets out sigh, watching her twin pointing to anything with even the slightest bit of interest. 

* * *

_24/11 10.13 am 2 Months after Hina's confession_

"Aya~"

"If you think I'm going to forgive you for being nearly one hour late, I'm not."

"Aya~, what if I I give you a nice coffee at that cafe you like?" 

Aya just turns away from her girlfriend Hina is _not_ getting out of this that easily.

To be honest with herself, she always thought of Hina as way out of her league, so what she was the lead singer and main face of the band. Hina was just, well, _Hina._

"No amounts of bribing can get you anywhere." Aya retorted, despite her crazy desire to fill up and satisfy her caffeine needs.

"A trip to your favorite family restaurant?" Hina asked

"No"

"Your favorite arcade? Play all you want, it's on me!" 

Aya wouldn't admit it, but she was tempted. Hina knows exactly what she wants and know exactly how to exploit them.

"Whoa, déjà vu." Aya thought.

"Sheesh," Hina sighs. "Tough audience."

Aya smiles triumphantly, she finally beat her all-in-one girlfriend. She turns around to face Hina, just get a brilliant view of Hina leaning towards her.

"If you don't what any of those, maybe you want your precious Hina-chan herself~~." Hina says in a sultry tone leaning into Aya and grabbing her collar, pulling her towards her. 

Shit, she can't get out of this.

Aya feels her face turn red as a tomato and her voice begins to crack slightly. 

"Fufu~ someone is getting embarrassed, Hina-chan has not even gave you a kiss yet~"Hina smiles, circling around Aya, taking in breaths of her scent.

Slipping a hand under Aya's shirt, she winces, she can't give in now. Hina smiles with a smile most Disney villains would be afraid of.

Then, her hand goes down. Forcing Aya to lose control of her thoughts, she gives in, allowing Hina to push Aya into the corner of the room.

Aya's eye's open as wide as saucers, she quickly tries to stifle her moan. Did Aya mention that Hina is very good at exploiting weaknesses?

"Aya~" Hina whispers into her ear, still grinning like a mad woman, "I'm sorry~, please forgive me~?" 

Aya's breath hitches, giving the teal-haired girl even more confidence to continue her ruthless attack on Aya's body. 

The two lovers were literally cuddling in the corner of the studio with Hina being "top" of this relationship. 

Aya feels herself losing all thoughts and her head going light, she lost again. Like every other time she tries to beat Hina, she just loses out. Aya felt reminded on the audition trails when she first wanted to join Pastel*Palettes. 

Just as Aya was about of give herself into her girlfriend completely, she knows she can't hold it back much longer and if Hina is going win, she might as well down in style. Only if going down in "style" means being a wet mess in the corner of the studio.

Instead, Hina stops, stands up straight and goes to grab a drink, leaving the poor pink haired girl speechless. 

"Hina. If your going to do me like this, at least take responsibility and finish me." Aya groans, her face obviously red with embarrassment.

"Oh~, so Aya actually wanted Hina to carry on?" Hina tilts her head to the side, giving of the most innocent smile.

"How does Sayo even stay sane?" Aya thought to herself. 

Suddenly anger boiled up in Aya, she was getting what she wanted.

Rushing forward, she grabs Hina by her shoulders and pushes her down onto the floor.

"Eh?" Was all Hina managed to say before she realized that she was the bottom now.

"Please, let me do this." Aya literally begs her girlfriend. She was squirming, she would never admit, but she was seriously touched starved and that little session was the closest thing she had to a hug in months. 

"Eh, but Aya, it's almost 11, the rest are gonna be here soon, is this why you wanted to meet earlier? You even booked an extra session~"

Shit, exposed. 

"N-no! I only wanted to see you practice more! Th-that's it!" Aya stutters shaking her hands and head, sitting up straight, all thoughts on how she wanted the next few minutes to play out all down the drain as Aya quickly tries to find a way to save her pride.

"Ah yes, a classic tsundere move, denial." Hina thinks, she did her research.

Hina grins, "Oh well, I can't deny the fact that I _might_ also want to carry on. But~" 

Pushing Aya gently of her, Hina stands up, hands behind her back. 

"Hey, Aya?" Hina whispers, loudly enough for her girlfriend to hear. 

"Yes?" Aya replies, her face still flushed from the experience earlier on.

"Maybe we can catch up afterwards~" Hina smirks, sticking her tongue out, between two of her fingers, causing the other girl to blush furiously. 

"HINA!" Aya shouts just as the door creaks open. 

The other members look from a blushing Aya to an innocent looking Hina.

"Ah," Chisato nods appreciatively. "Good job, Hina." 

The teal-haired girl merely flashes a smile before picking up her guitar. "Come on, lets start!" Hina shouts, "We wasted an hour already."

Giving Aya a knowing wink, Aya wishes she could simply crumble to dust instead of facing her group member's questioning looks towards her.

-

That wasn't necessarily the bad part of the day, nor was it her finally finding out that onee-chan was actually dating Tsugu-chan, it was her turn to have a crush on Tsugumi anyway. 

Hina would never admit it, not even in a dream, but she is surprisingly self-conscious, she may act like a reckless idiot in public but she will soon realize how embarrassing her actions are later on. 

When Aya agreed to go out with her, Hina was ready to live the rest of her life without any luck at all, even she knows one does not simply win the heart of a girl as amazing as Aya-chan without out some kind of payment. 

Sadly, Hina's fee was falling out of favor.

* * *

 _24/11 2 Months after Hina's_ _confession_

"Hina, enough is enough."

"But Chisato-chan..." Hina whines. Hina may be a genius but but the one thing she is seriously lacking is social skills. 

"That was the funniest part!" Hina shouts trying to regain possession of her phone. 

Aya just looks longingly at the phone high above Hina's head. She screwed up again, and she knew it. But it's seems like no one but Hina found out. 

Why does it always have to be her girlfriend that finds out all her mistakes. 

"Ahh, heard that Aya-chan? Your voice cracked again!" She tilts her head smiling brightly.

Aya still loves her, don't get her wrong. It's just that Hina... Well, can go _too_ far.

"Aahahaha! Aya! Your face looks so surprised! Even though the confetti was your idea!" Hina laughs. 

This has been going for hours, the band just ended their practice session and are sitting around enjoying their hot coffee under leafless trees, shivering in the wind. 

First, it was her introduction, Hina just consistently joked about how limited her vocabulary is, using only a few certain words every time. 

"Your like a bot, Aya-chan." Hina said, poking Aya's nose while at it.

Then, there was _the trip_ , i't wasn't like _that_ obvious! It was just a tiny stumble that barely anyone could see. 

"You tripped like 4 times, Aya-chan!" Hina shouts. 

Aya knows that Hina doesn't mean any of that as insults but she can't help but feel angry as if Hina was looking down on her. 

"Oh, oh! Skip to the 24th minute! That's when Aya-chan stutters on Secret Base!" Hina says as she quickly swipes the screen.

" **Kimi ga saigo made kokoro kara** " Aya winced at the memory, it wasn't her finest moment in her career.

"" **Arigatō" sakendeita koto shitte ita yo-o** " 

Ouch, it was as if she suddenly lost her voice, which might or might not have happened. Aya buries her head deeper into her arms and starts to take big gulps of her cappuccino. 

"Right! At 34, Aya's tone was so off!" Hina says between snickers.

Aya was really tempted to kill her girlfriend, Hina can never shut up, can she? 

" **Kizuita kono tokimek-i** " The final syllable when so off key, Aya could feel herself and the audience wince all over again. 

Of course, all of Hina's parts were perfect, why wouldn't they be, she's fucking perfect, while everyone needs to carry their music sheets around, Hina would just simply memorize them, and play everything on her guitar at perfect pitch and reverb. 

Aya grits her teeth, she finally found out why she originally hated Hina in the first place, their first meeting was not all rainbows and sunshine anyway.

* * *

_Day of the Pastel*Palettes audition_

"Oh? The pink haired one? She's cute, I'll give her that but her singing honestly had some mistakes. What did you think onee-chan?" Hina said looking at Sayo, awaiting her response, clueless that Aya could hear her pretty obviously.

"Well?" Aya countered " It's not like _you_ can sing? If so why don't you sign up for that role instead?" She was nervous, it's a perfectly normal human reaction and this weirdo of a girl thinks she can just say that can go unchallenged? If Aya was good and takes pride in anything at all, it was her singing, and she's not going to let that girl just insult her like that. 

"Onee-chan? Can i do one more audition?" The teal-haired girl tilts her head to the side, Sayo just shrugs and Hina was off. 

-

"Hikawa Hina? Aren't you the guitarist that was already accepted?" One of the judges shoot Hina a confused look. 

Hina just smiles. "I wanted to try my luck on singing!" 

The judge returns the gesture, "It says your going to sing a cover of Fukashigi no Karte?" 

"Yes sir"

"Well, good luck and please begin whenever your ready." 

Hina takes a breath.

**Katarenai~ nemurenai~ toroimerai~**

Hina's melodic voice rang through the room, filling the four walls with nothing but her raw singing voice. Aya was shell shocked. 

**Anata no~ miteru shoutai~. Daremo yomenai karute~. Fukashigi shiritai dake~.**

Aya couldn't even feel face turn red with embarrassment, she was to fixated on Hina to even notice.

Sayo on the other hand simply plugs in her headphones instead, earning a pout from Hina.

**Uyamuya sayonara karui memai~ , Anata no inai genshoukai~ , Daremo yomenai karute~ , Jiishiki afuredashite~**

Everyone's eyes were on her, Aya could not even peel her eyes of her, she couldn't help but fall in love with Hina's voice but at the same hate it with all her heart, it sounded like...

Then reality snapped her back to the present, she lost, there's no way she can beat that! No amount of practice, hard work or even auto-tune could beat that. 

"Wow" The judge says, his jaw barely hanging onto his face, "Hikawa-san, that was very good, I mean, it was amazing." 

"Well, i guess."Hina replies. 

That bitch, showing of-

"But i still think that pink hair girl over there did a better job."

Huh? 

"She picked a hard song didn't she?"

"Well, yes, Konayuki's high pitched chorus portion is known to be scarily difficult."

"But she nailed it, didn't she?" Hina smirks, shooting Aya a wink.

The judge looks towards Aya and back to Hina. 

"Fair point, auditions for Lead Singer and Main Guitarist is over, Maruyama-san and Hikawa-san will take both roles respectively.

* * *

_24/11 4.56 pm 2 Months after Hina's confession_

"Hina, can i have a few words with you?" Aya said, 

"Please stop. It's getting tired." Aya went straight to the point.

"But why?" Hina tilts her head. 

"You know! Maybe you'll understand if you _actually_ cared about my feelings!"

"But I do! I really love it when you smile!" 

Aya feels her face flush, she hates it how Hina can make her feel like trash one second, and then immediately make her feel like the best girl in the world. She shakes her head, not this time.

"Well, I'm through with your teasing Hina! You know how annoying it is?" Aya hears her voice grow louder with each syllable, not that she cared, Hina deserved this scolding, plus, she'd most likely forget about it in 5 seconds, right?

"It's not just the teasing Hina, it's.." Aya continues, " YOU, you in general, like, can you not tease me every 5 minutes because i screwed up?" Before Aya knew it, she let her feeling pour forth, channeling the hate she had for Hina before they actually became friends. 

"I know YOU know YOUR perfect but so _what_?" Aya continues, "Just because YOUR the "Genius" doesn't mean you should go around judging and criticizing everyone! Have you thought about it at all? That maybe all this is YOUR fault? Actually Hina, you know what?" 

The remaining band members rush out to see what the commotion was about, hastily trying to stop Aya just to get a loud "I'm breaking up with you!" from Aya.

"What?" Hina blinks, her brain couldn't process the 5 words that was just shot at her, literally staggering back as if it was shotgun blast. 

"Just go die or something, like seriously." Aya spat.

Shit, did she go to far? 

Aya ran off, none of the Pastel*Palette members daring to chase after her, especially not after that outbreak of emotions. 

Hina drops to her knees,her brain clouded with images of Aya's angry face, filled with primal anger, the heart-throbbing pain still has not ceded. Hina's heart felt like a broken dam, her bottled up feeling of doubt in herself and distrust started pouring out, she knew she was a terrible person, but why didn't she put effort to change it? The problem was her, just like what Aya said, it was all her, she deserves it after all.

* * *

_24/12 9.30 am (Present)_

"Aiiiii~" Hina groans, apparently she hit her head on the sink of her bathroom.

The pain in her heart still feels fresh, as if her heart is slowly getting ripped into two, a tiny chibi version of Aya Maruyama slowly gnawing on her heart. 

That would have been cute, accept the fact that she is still hurting despite it already being more then a month when it happened, she _still_ loves her, her life has always been onee-chan this and onee-chan that. Then she met Aya made it her goal to steal her heart before anyone else did, now she wonders if Aya really is into girls or she was just to kind to turn her down. 

Ouch, hurts to even _think_ about her, but she puts on a smile, Aya seems like she has already moved on, so must Hina, she can't let her uncertainty and bi-polar get the better of her. 

The feelings for the only love of her life and the pain that she believes she brought upon herself certainly did not help with her overall mental well-being, slowly being filled with thoughts that she bottled up over the years, the pressure slowly increasing inside of her, waiting for another blow before exploding in a million shiny colors. 

Hey, if she going die or break down, she's gonna break down in the most sparkly way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was that. Hopefully it wasn't trash.  
> Here are some other notes.  
> *In Asia or at least where I stay, each eye can determine one's future, good or bad respectively, never both good or both bad, it honesty varies per person. So, if my right eye is my "lucky" eye it doesn't mine yours is also the right eye. I personally don't believe it's true but, hey, never fuck around just to be safe.
> 
> The songs that were featured are "Secret Base ~Kimi Ga Kureta Mono~" by Scandal, Fukashigi no Carte (Seishun Buta Yarou wa Bunny Girl Senpai no Yume wo Minai EN) and Konayuki by Remioromen. 
> 
> I plan to make this around 4-5 chapters. Not to long hopefully. If y'all got anything you want me to write, there's two things I what to say.
> 
> 1) Why me?  
> 2) okay pm me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What lays ahead of the two girls and how much more can i torture them just for our reading pleasure for angst?  
> Well, there's only one way to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd chapter, probably gonna be slightly more fluff in this one, but then it'll probably end of quite dark. Oops. *Spoiler alert*  
> But anyway, if you didn't notice, they all occur on the same 11/24 dates or 12/24 dates, but no worries this is mostly back story, i will start with the real plot soon, so the dates would not be much of a bother to keep track of. But here is the main story line right now.
> 
> 9/24: Hina confessed.  
> 11/24 They had a fight  
> 12/24: Hina is still a depressed lesbian.

_11/24 2 years after the fight (Future)_

"Aya, I'm just going to get straight to the point." Hina says, giving the other girl a light smile. "I'm leaving Japan, tomorrow."

"W-what?" Aya stutters. "When? I mean like when did you decide on this?" 

"Well, I just wanted to go look around? You know explore the world? Climb mountains, sail the seas and explore other... Jungles?" Hina smirks. "Other then the one. Down their I suppose. 

Aya traced the direction of Hina's finger. Right to her....

"HINA!" Aya feels her face turn to a bright shade of pink as she hurriedly covers her face with her hands to prevent any sort of color from escaping into Hina's keen eyes.

"Hehe. Aya-chan, your face is all red now~" Hina grins, smiling innocently. "You don't have to worry Aya-chan~. I can give you one last present before I go~" 

Hina sticks out her tongue and puts it between her index and middle finger, and with her other middle finger, she starts to wiggle it around. Causing the pink haired girl to turn into a shade that was similar to her eyes. Well, dark pink I guess.

"Hina." Aya says between breaths. "I hate you."

Hina's laughter was heard echoing through the cafe. 

After Hina's laughter has calmed down, she continued with what the original plan was. "Anyway Aya-chan, I was wondering..."

* * *

_12/24 one month after the fight (Present)_

Hina blinks as she stand up, ouch, her head hurts, why was she on the floor? She has a meeting doesn't she? What time is it? 

She reaches for the phone which laid patiently at her side. 

_9.11 am_

She tilts her head, she can't ski[this interaction can she. 

Hina nods her head as she prepares to leave the house, picking out her regular outfit before picking up her guitar case.

"I wish onee-chan is having fun." Hina says to no one in particular. 

* * *

_12/24 9.34 am_

Somewhere in town, was a girl named Hikawa Sayo, sitting casually at a table inside of a certain someone's coffee shop. 

"Sayo? What are you thinking about?"

"Oh! Tsugu, er, I was just wondering about Hina." Sayo shrugs, she would never admit it to anyone else, but she trusts Tsugu with her _life_.

Sure, she loves Lisa, Ako, Yukina and Rinko, no homo if she may add, but she has a special place in her heart for a certain chestnut brown haired girl named Hazawa Tsugumi. Plus, the rest of her band has their small little OTPs of their own. With the YukiLisa dynamic as Sayo's favorite. (Has nothing to do with the writer's love for both Lisa or Yukina or the YukiLisa ship in general. ~~LISA TOPS YUKINA. SORRY AKORINKO FANS~~ )

"Is it about Hina-chan?" Tsugu asks with a tilt of her head.

By putting pressure on her heart to prevent it from melting due to the overwhelming amount of cuteness her girlfriend is exerting, Sayo managed to reply with a simple "Yes" before she continues to sip her coffee. 

"I'm sure Hina-ch-" The front bell rings, "Oh, sorry Sayo-san, I'll be right back."

As much as Sayo wants Tsugu to herself, she has a job to complete. 

Was it the right thing to do? Putting up another lie for her sister? Would Toyama-san do the same for her sister? Would Ushigome-san do the same for Rimi-san? 

She remembers when they _just_ broke up, Sayo remembers it all, it's not everyday where you get to see Hina cry, don't get her wrong, she hates it when Hina cries, the last time that happened..

"Onee-chan! Please help me! I don't want to ruin their day out, not because of me! Please, onee-chan!" Hina begged, Sayo could remember the pain in her eyes, the once sparkling green eyes now dim with sadness and the white now covered in red like the roots of a tree. "I'll do anything! I remember the time when you told me to go to Kyoto and never come back or something. I can do that! Just this once, onee-chan..." Sayo remembers it all, she remembers the determination to keep her promise if she was to really agree with her outrageous demand. 

Sayo sighs, she really did not what Hina to end up like this, as much as she originally disliked having a twin, she can never bring herself to completely hate her as her sister. Sayo also knows the Hina that everyone sees is the real Hina, she knows Hina well, well enough to know some of her secrets. Such as the fact that Hina actually is very self-conscious, afraid and who actually is terrified of herself as a whole. 

Sayo remembers the time when Hina cries herself to sleep, tries to cut herself repeatedly in order to try and remove whatever gifts or talents she may have. But like using a fork to drink soup, something Hina would do, it was impossible, she became more and more depressed until, she blacked out completely. 

You know the saying "People around you knows you better then you know yourself."

Well, Sayo knows something about Hina that Hina doesn't. The Hina now is not the same Hina that she was in the past, Hina of the past was more closeted, silent, studious, simpler, less loud and honestly a better person in general, at least to Sayo. But that all changed, Hina lost it all, her memories. 

All wiped clean like a cloth to a dirty surface, a vacuum to a filthy floor, or any other shitty comparison metaphor or whatever she could think of but the only right way to describe this is an exorcist to a demon. The "demon" that once "haunted" Hina was now gone and left behind a shallow shell that was filled with the current Hina. Then comes the question, will Sayo really better of with the old Hina? She wasn't sure whether she wanted an answer.

* * *

_12/24 10. 03 am_

Aya was tired, she had to go for a photo shoot, an advertisement shoot that Eve was supposed to star in but she ended up calling the whole band anyway and a food tasting session that all 5 members were supposed to attend, of course, Hina didn't show up for anyone of the events. And Aya wasn't sure whether to be relieved or worried, of course, she wanted to see how Hina was doing but was it worth the risk? Would she suddenly lose her temper again? Would see fuck everything up for Hina? 

As Aya was thinking of the best way possible to talk to Hina casually, the girl in question strolls right in. 

"H-Hina! You're here early!" Maya grins, rushing forward to greet the "missing" member of the band, rumors has been circulating that Hina was kidnapped, but Hina promptly dismissed the rumor by winning first in a fry eating competition. 

Heartbreak makes you do some _weird_ stuff. 

"Ah haha, Yamato-san." Hina smiles halfheartedly."

"Yamato- _san_? Hina, are you alright?" Maya has always been called with the _chan_ honorary by Hina, and thus, it does not take a psychologist to tell there's something wrong with Hina. 

"Ah, my bad Maya-chan." Hina replies, avoiding eye contact. 

"And wha-, what are you wearing?" Maya scans Hina, no beanie, no sneakers, no tomboy-ish outfit. In there steed was a pure white dress, a light blue jacket and long teal hair that matches her twin's.

"You look like Sayo, Hina-chan." Maya says. 

"I do?" Hina shrugs, taking a look at the mirror. "I don't think onee-chan would be happy with that. She never liked it when I copy her."

Maya was shocked, this is definitely not the Hina she knows. 

Instead of what regular Hina would do, claim that if she was to run towards Aya, Aya would most definitely catch her in her arms, then continue to run straight down the hall and throw herself into Aya. 

I mean, there's no other way right? Cuz all the other ways to greet a friend is _obviously_ the wrong way. 

Hina walked towards the other side of the room, where no one would notice her due to the frantic nature of the whole idol business, sat down takes out a book.

"Oh", Maya thought, "that's normal."

Then she did a double take. "Wait, Hina took out a _BOOK?_ " Maya jolts her head back towards the girl. "And she's _READING_? " 

Hina is _reading_? Maya's brain did a frontal 360 loop, she rubs her eyes, puts on her glasses and squints. "I can't fucking believe it." Her jaw went slacker then the time when she saw Eve holding a katana. 

Maya storms towards Hina, "Could you come with me for a while, Hina-chan?" 

Maya drags the confused Hina into a small part of the studio with no one around, before suddenly shaking Hina aggressively. "Your not the real Hina Hikawa! Give back the real Hina!" 

Hina's head tilts to the left calmly despite being shaken so hard. "What do you mean, Maya-chan?" Hina replies calmly, the shaking and unevenness obvious in her voice. 

"Really? Then, explain this!" Maya shouts, triumphantly showing Hina a picture of her reading a book, taken mere seconds before Maya dragged Hina to this awkward position. 

"Yes, i see, that is me, Hina Hikawa, reading a book." Hina says, lifting up her book. "It's called 'Yuri is my Job', are you interested?" Causing Maya to blush furiously, from the obvious the theme of the book showcased for literally everyone to see. It almost felt that Hina purposely chose this book specifically just to make Maya blush, she'll never admit it but Maya wants to be charmed by literally anyone like how Hime is charmed by Mitsuki. (Definitely not because Maya has a huge ~~kink~~ crush on getting kabedoned and that Maya has finished the whole series and collected every book.)

How does Hina not feel any shame what she just said? No smile, no dumb grin, not a single drop of emotion was seen on her pale face. 

What will our current protagonist do against such a formidable force such as Hina? 

Run, fast. Leaving a visibly confused Hina behind.

* * *

_12/24 10. 36 am_

"Unsurprisingly, Hina's late, again." Aya sighs. "If she is even coming at all." Aya whispers to herself. 

"I'm going to use the toilet if that's alright." Aya raises her hand, earning a nod from her manager. 

"Is Hina ever going to show up for a _single_ show? "Aya breathes.

Pushing open the door, she felt the door hit something behind it. 

"Ouch," the door says. 

"A talking door?" Aya says out loud. 

"I'm afraid that I'll disappoint you, so yes, I am a talking door." The voice replies.

Something about the voice strikes a chord in Aya's heart, like a note on a guitar that she could simply re-create with her voice but not knowing what the note actually is. 

"Wow," Aya thought "that was a terrible comparison."

Aya internally face-palmed herself, at least she knows why her intros always felt weird, it really was her vocabulary. 

"By any chance, do i know you?" Aya asks.

"Depends," was the answer, "what's your name?"

"Aya, Maruyama Aya."

Silence.

"Yes, I'm afraid you do know me, Maruyama-san"

And that sent Aya reeling, she _knows_ that voice.

"Hina?" Aya ventures, pulling at the handle. 

The teal-haired girl pushes the door away, "Maruyama-san. It's been a while hasn't it?" Hina says.

One point Aya immediately picked up, Hina was almost void of all emotion, despite the amusement in her voice, Hina looked like a robot. 

"Hina? Are you alright?" Aya's worries bubbled up inside of her. 

Hina tilts her head, "Yes, I am fine. Why does everyone keep asking me that?" 

Aya was silent, somethings wrong, she feels like she has accidentally pressed a button and destroyed a city but has no idea which city she destroyed. 

"What is _wrong_ with my language subjects?" Aya wanted to slap herself, she really needed to study more. 

"Hina...Whats wrong? What happened?" Aya reaches for the other's hand, "You've... changed." 

Hina's head tilts back, "I never changed Maruyama-san." Hina's voice calm and unnerving.

"Then why address me as Maruyama-san, you've always called me by Aya-chan." Aya's voice grew louder, her worry and fear crawled up her throat.

"I did?" Hina put her finger on her chin, "I did...."

"Hina.. If this is some kind of joke." Aya's voice cracked. 

"Joke?" Hina replied, her face still betraying zero emotion. "I'm not joking." 

"Hi-"

"Maruyama-san! Please get ready!" Her manager shouts. 

"Ah, okay!" Aya replies. "Uh, by the way, I found Hina-chan?"

* * *

_12/24 11.16 am_

Hina was normal for the whole shoot, she posed like how she usually would, she smiled normally, nothing like the same Hina that Aya interacted with just hours ago. 

The same smile that Hina would always flash towards Aya or the rest was only seen during the shoot, which caused some thinking to occur in Aya's mind. How much does she _really_ know Hina? Did she miss something out? Was she not observant enough? These questions would be enough to keep Aya from sleeping for the next 3 days, thus, she decided not to dwell too much, she already has enough problems in her life.

One shot required only Hina and Aya, where Hina was supposed to princess carry Aya, which probably was not a very good idea. But the fans like it so Aya really does not have much of a choice. Did she mention that Hina had to change into a suit and tie? 

"Please don't drop me, please don't drop me." Was repeated inside Aya's mind, in fear of Hina getting revenge on her. 

Instead, Hina lifted her off the ground, no problem, gave a big smile at the camera. Aya was expecting Hina to struggle a little, since did gain a _little_ weight. It's not _that_ much right? 

"Maruyama-san! Please smile?" The camera shouted.

"Oh! Sorry!" 

The sound of the camera reverberated through the studio. 

Hina them moved on to look into Aya's eyes, the sparkling sea-green irises that Aya used to dream of having stared right into hers. Not in a creepy way of any sorts, which reminded her deeply of the time they got stuck in the same bathroom together. (Long story, do _not_ ask Aya about it, one of her most embarrassing moments.)

The same smile that drove Aya crazy since day one, and the equally annoying incisor that could never seem to disappear from the corner of Hina's mouth, giving her the look of feline, not Lisa-san level, who Hina would call Lisa-chi, but good enough to leave a few marks on one's neck, Aya could relate. (Long story, _please_ do not ask Aya about it, her number one embarrassing moment was when Kasumi found out of the marks, not funny Kasumi). 

But what struck Aya the most was Hina after the shoot, her eyes no longer sparkled, replaced with a type of professional seriousness. The incisor disappeared back into her mouth and the smile no longer a thing. It's almost a different Hina. 

"Good job!" You guys are free to go do whatever you like, just return by 3, more then enough right?" The girls manager spoke out. 

Everyone nodded, thus, hurry and scurry filled the place once again as the crew prepared fort for their fan meeting. 

Aya sighed to herself, "It's gonna be a long day."

Aya was sure that Hina will address the _thing_ sooner or later. How was she so sure? Hina wasn't the type that would keep things low even after so long, especially since never seen each other for almost a month. 

"She'll talk to me, it's only a matter of time." Aya told herself, putting on a grin to hide her uneasiness. "Hey! How bout we go to that restaurant downtown?"

* * *

Hina was confused, what's wrong with everyone today, like, seriously. 

First it was Maya-chan who shook her so aggressively, then ran off after seeing "Yuri is My Job", which was weird, since Hina always thought that Maya had a crush on Eve-chan.

Then was Chisato-chan herself, whose eyes were wide open after Hina told her she hasn't seen her latest movie. If Chisato-chan's eyes could grow bigger then before, it would have after Hina told her that the amount of homework she had was insane as the reason. "You...never did your homework?" Was all Chisato-chan said before calmly excusing herself.

So rude, of course Hina did her homework, it's not all talent you know.

Eve-chan was next, she accidentally slipped while walking towards Hina and muttered a curse in Finnish after falling down. 

"Tappaa minut jo*..." Eve groans as she tried to get back up just to see a looming Hina-shaped shadow and it's owner help her out.

"Oletko kunnossa? Ja älä suorita seppuku^" Hina replies, in perfect Finnish.

"Mitä helvettiä¹" Eve mutters before questioning Hina non-stop about the origins of where Hina learnt her home language. But a shrug was all Eve received back from Hina.

And what Hina received from her input was a screaming Eve and a slight whack to her face. 

Then, it was Aya.

Right, they broke up. 

"I teased her a lot didn't I?' Hina thought to herself, "She didn't really appreciated the gesture did she?" 

Hina's brain worked on overdrive, "I need to find out her true feelings."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> During Eve and Hina's interaction, they both spoke Finnish, here are the translations below.  
> "Just kill me already*..."  
> "Are you okay? Please do not perform seppuku^"  
> Seppuku is not Finnish, instead, it's Japanese which can be translated as cutting the belly, and yes, it is a way to kill yourself.  
> "What the hell¹"
> 
> Anyway, I actually finished chapter 3 already but I want to almost complete chapter 4 first so I don't lose hope in myself and it's going well so far. Wish me luck.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT IS THIS? IM POSTING 2 TIMES IN 3 DAYS?????  
> NANIIIII  
> I would like to keep this as short as possible to be purely honest, but after reading a one shot fanfic with 12k words.  
> i feel determined to beat that even if mine was over a stretch of 4-5 chapters  
> A NEED FOR APPROVAL THAT CAN'T BE SATED.

_12/24 12.01 pm One month after the fight_

"Hina-chan looked like that?" Tsugu literally shouted into Sayo's face, causing the other girl to wince.

"Sorry, got over excited." Tsugumi apologized sheepishly.

"It's alright, b-" Sayo, cuts herself short. "Anyway, the Hina-chan you know now is nothing like the Hina-chan I grew up with." 

Tsugu nods thoughtfully, "Then how bout the Hina _now_ , I mean like, I haven't seen her in a month, not even with pasupare..." 

"Well, I never told mom or anything, but i don't think i should hide this from you." Sayo feels herself tremble, she has let her true feelings for Hina as an elder sister to others for a few times already, but Tsugu has dealt with her bullshit more then anyone else so she trust her enough.

"Hazawa Tsugumi," Sayo stared right into her eyes at the same time grabbing Tsugumi's soft hands, causing the brown haired girl to yelp and blush furiously and try and pull away from the sudden contact. "You'll have to promise me, not to tell anyone alright." 

Tsugu's heart stopped for a millisecond, "She's being super serious right now." Tsugu thought. 

"Alright," was her answer, "Tell me, what is wrong with Hina-chan. I want to help." 

"I suspect two things," Sayo's face turn dark, "One, she's really suicidal right now and it's getting worst." 

And to Tsugu's defense, she really wasn't expecting that to be number one on the list.

* * *

_11/25 1.13 am (Past)_

Hina has been crying for 6 hours straight, right from 7 all the way to now, she is so dehydrated that her tears were literally just air and the sobs were nothing more than a cry of help from her throat. 

She grips the blade harder, feeling the sharp edge sink into her palm, feeling the flow of blood dripping down her fingers onto the already blood-stained blankets, her neck covered in tiny nicks and scratches. She swore that she will cut her ear off, but she thought that a ear may be to much damage and everyone would know that Hina was up to something, not what a model student should be like. 

She also doubts that whatever feelings that Aya had for her was not going to improve if she lost a ear. So she stuck to more unsee-able places such as the wrist, neck and back. 

_**I know YOU know YOUR perfect but so what ?" Aya continues, "Just because YOUR the "Genius" doesn't mean you should go around judging and criticizing everyone! Have you thought about it at all? That maybe all this is YOUR fault?** _

The thoughts of what happened less then 24 hours ago haunted her, she couldn't close her eyes without seeing Aya shouting and screaming at her, Hina curls and shakes at the thought, the pitch darkness of the room ironically bringing back memories that are clearer and sharper then her dreams. She barely slept, she barely ate, and definitely did not drink enough water. 

"Onee-chan..." Hina tried to shout, but all that came out was her raspy voice that barely made any impact to her surroundings, much less her onee-chan to appear in her room.

Finding no way out, Hina drops the blade on to her bed and takes a steady push, purposely putting her hand into the blade.

"Ah aiii.." Hina whispers, making nothing more then a gust of wind escaping her mouth, never has Hina thought that getting up and grabbing a glass of water could be so hard. 

She feels herself, two feet on the ground, head hanging low and a steady flow of blood slowly dripping from more than one point of her body. 

Hina takes a step towards her door, and another, soon a third followed suit.

Hina's head feels light as air, which did not help her clear her thoughts at all, in fact it might as well be another reminder of her failure.

_**That maybe all this is YOUR fault?** _

"Maybe it is.... I was a terrible person after all." Hina somehow finds her voice back as if the Gods are letting her have it so she may resent herself with it.

_**All this is YOUR fault?** _

"I was a horrible little sister right onee-chan? Always coping you, making you feel bad." Hina feels her heart being ripped apart once again, reopening the sore and numbing that was called heartbreak.

_**This is YOUR fault?** _

"Never doing the right thing when i should, never taking anything seriously, always being mean to others." Hina's path brought her towards the stairs down.

_**YOUR fault?** _

"I am sorry Aya-chan," Hina feels herself lose control of her body as she reaches the steps, "I am sorry onee-chan." 

Step by step, Hina reaches the edge.

"I always ruin everything i touch," Hina feels herself blacking out. "I was never the right person to be with you anyway. I screw everything, I never takes things seriously." 

_**YOUR FAULT!** _

"I want someone else to make you happy, anyone but me." Hina's body tilts into an inhuman angle, "I am sorry, I don't deserve your affection and i know it, but I-" Hina's head grows light by the second as he feels herself fall face first towards the bottom. "But I love you, Aya-chan." 

Hina sprawled down the 20 plus steps, barely making a sound, her body moving along with the pull of gravity, her arms failing in different directions, her head hitting the wooden sides of the steps as her body slowly rolls to a top.

Hina's lifeless body stuck in a weird dislocation, her head stuck with a nasty dent and bruise, her arms and joints bent in odd directions and her sea-green eyes lost all shine that they once held within. 

"Just fucking kill me."

* * *

_12/24 12.00_ _pm (Present)_

They 5 girls were awfully quiet sharing one private car that the band uses to transmute around, the nearly 45 minutes drive was driving all the girl up the wall, well, all except for one teal-haired girl who pulled out the _third_ volume of "Yuri is My Job" earning another knowing blush from Maya, which none of the girls decided to comment on. 

Aya was going absolutely nuts, Hina was usually the one who starts the conversations in the group of 5 whether it's in real life, on the group chat or even at school, it's always Hina who starts with this conversation thing. 

Aya was sitting next to Hina and she can feel herself start to sweat aggressively and she knows the other girls know too. Silently picking up her phone, she texted Maya.

 **Aya:** Maya-chan. Did Hina.....

 **Aya:** Do anything to you?

 **Maya:** Yes, lets just say it has something related to the fact she's reading."

On the topic of reading, every single one of them whole-heartedly expected Hina to say or teach them a new game but did not expect her to bring out a book, oblivious to the other stares, Hina just sits there and _reads._

Like a perfectly normal person, which Hina Hikawa is _not._

She is funny, talkative, loud and someone you'll generally never regret spending time with, but not when it's 5th grade reading time.

Aya sighs, being leader has it's pros and cons, and this is part of the package. 

"Okay," Aya speaks up, earning the attention of every girl in the car, except Hina of course, the book's just too good.

"I have to address the very obvious issue right now!" Aya announces. "That includes you Hina-chan." 

"Oh." Hina closes her book and tilts her head towards Aya, "How is she so cute?" Aya asks herself. Taking a deep breath, she continues.

"There's only one question to ask," The remaining members of the band nod and look at each other, giving each other a you-thinking-of-what-I'm-thinking look. Which Aya grins to, they are all on the same page.

"Hina." Aya continues, earning another head tilt, she has to ask the question, she cannot live without this logic and she knows the other girls think the same, and it's her duty to ask and clarify their relationship.

"Why are you reading?"

"Can't I, Aya-chan?"

"I never said you couldn't, it just that you never read in your life while with us." 

"Well," Hina pauses, "You have a fair point." Hina keeps her book inside her bag and sits straight. 

"I did it?" Aya thinks. "I did it!" 

The audible sound of the remaining pasupare's sigh of relive echos through the car. But what came next was even worst.

Hina pulled out homework, her fucking _literature_ homework, and started quoting Shakespeare. 

Not a single fucking soul spoke. 

"Hina, why do you have homework in your bag?" 

"Because i haven't completed it, and it is due tomorrow." Hina replied and went back to focusing on onomatopoeia and metaphors. 

"AHHHHHH! BRING THE OLD HINA BACK!!!!" Eve rushes forward and starts to aggressively hug and shake Hina repeatedly. 

"Eve-chan. Please calm down." Hina replies calmly, "I can't focus if you keep on shaking me." 

"NOOOO!!! GIVE BACK HINA-CHAN OR I'LL COMMIT SEPPUKU."

"No your not Eve-chan." Aya pulls back her band mate, before turning her attention back to Hina."Hina, we are in this car together, can we at least interact with one another?"

Hina thinks for a while, before saying "Answer my question first, why are you so caught up with me anyway."

"Well, fuck" Aya thinks, praying that her face isn't turning bright red despite her suspicions. 

"The reason is," Aya replies, faking confidence. "You, Hina Hikawa, was never like that. Not when you first joined Pastel*Palettes, not even we were performing at CiRCLE, and definitely not while we were d-da-dating...." Aya feels her recklessness leak out of her.

"What are you doing Maruyama!!!" She screams internally, her head pounding herself for being such an idiot, Hina has obviously gotten over her, and she _had_ to bring it back up, now Hina is gonna be angry at her at best. 

"I-I guess so." Hina replies, was that a tinge of red Aya saw? 

"Girls, we've reached your diner." The driver says, reeling down the window that connects the first to the back.

"Guess we'll have to continue this later," Aya thought as she hops of the car.

* * *

_12/24 1.02 p_ _m_

Well, this is awkward.

Everybody at the agency follows a set of unspoken rules.

1) Do your best. 

2) Spend as much of the cooperation's money possible. 

3) Do your best to spend as much of the cooperation's money possible. 

So, that's precisely what they did. They got a 5-man private table, free flow drinks and the best fucking menu they could find, Aya could _definitely_ live with this.

But since it was a pretty fancy place, they couldn't just do what ever they want, Aya would have called them generous, even if they had paid them 8200 yen per person for a full 5 course meal. 

Why? There was a dress code, and they are definitely not aligned with it. 

The 5 girls found themselves sitting around with literally nothing to do.

Except Hina, who was doing her math homework.

But Aya, who coordinated with the rest of the girls, had a plan.

Hina could be swayed easily by large groups of people, thus the plan begins.

"Hey," Aya starts, hoping the nervousness in her voice doesn't match the confidence on her face ."Let's play a game!" 

The remaining girls started muttering and nodding.

_Two hours before._

_Aya's private chat with Chisato._

_Aya_ : Chisato-chan. I have a favour to ask.

 _Chisato_ : Ah, Aya-chan. Is it regarding Hina?

 _Aya_ : I'm afraid so.

 _Aya_ : I have a plan to get everyone to play truth or dare, but it'll only work by suggestion.

 _Chisato_ : I see your plans, so you still like Hina?

 _Aya_ : I never said that!

 _Chisato_ : is it possible to be a tsundere thru phone?

 _Aya_ : Shut up, Chisato-chan.

 _12/24 1.06 p_ _m_

After forcefully getting Hina to keep her books, the gang could finally start playing the game.

Placing a side dish bowl on the edge of one side of the Lazy Susan, they made a giant 'bottle'. 

"You guys know the rules, if it lands on you, you answer." Aya announced. 

"It's all going according to plan." Aya thought." Giving it a good spin, the 'bottle' lands facing Hina. 

"WAIT, I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS TO END SO EARLY!" Aya heard your brain scream, it was true, she didn't plan for this at all.

"Well," Hina tilts her head, giving a small smile, "Ask away."

Aya could feel her brain cells slowly committing suicide as she racked her brains to come out with a suitable question.

Screw it.

"Hina, do you still like me?"

* * *

_Hina and Sayo age 9_

"I don't know what I was expecting when your parents named you two! Sun and Moon? You both look and act exactly the same!"

That was what most people said when they saw the twins Sayo and Hina. 

"Hina, why did you choose to grow your hair like me?" Sayo asks, not looking up from her book.

Hina flinches slightly before answering calmly, "I just think that long hair suits me better." 

Sayo sighs, "Doesn't it get annoying when someone gets your name wrong?"

"Well, it get annoying sometimes," Hina spoke. "I sometimes also wish I was onee-chan, someone....normal." 

"Hina.." Sayo lost track of her voice, looking at her twin who was still looking at her book the same one as Sayo's.

She then turned towards the afterglow of the sun, lips parted, ready to say something philosophical. 

Then a bell rings, "Ah, onee-chan." Hina gets up and packs her books."My lessons are starting soon, I better get going." 

Leaving a lonely Sayo behind, on the docks, looking into the endless seas.

* * *

_Hina's lessons for the_ _gifted_

"I wonder how is it like to be normal?" Hina thinks to herself, "Why can't i be just like onee-chan."

"Hikawa-san, is something bothering you?" Her teacher pointed towards her. "You seem very distracted. 

"Ah, senpai, everything is fine." Hina woke from her daydream. "The answer is wrong by the way, the formula for Pythagoras is A²+B²=C²."

"That's right, I'm getting old, thank you Hina-san"

* * *

_After Hina's lessons. 9.26 pm_

Why do they have to keep on trying?

Hina's parents has arranged a trail for another lesson on Advanced Literature, she likes literature, but not at 9 pm. 

Hina could feel her eyelids slowly closing, the heaviness and the drowsiness catching up like a predator stalking the prey.

She should have gotten coffee, even if Sayo doesn't allow it, Essence of Chicken just doesn't make the cut.

"HINA!" Her teacher shouts, "Pay attention!" 

Oh, did Hina mention that her teacher is an asshole, well, her teacher is an asshole.

"Yes, sir" Hina replies, her head jolting towards the whiteboard filled with words that she already knows.

Hina sighs again, her lesson would not end till 10 pm and it is still a long way to go.

Hina drops her head and lays it on her arms, coming her long hair behind her ears.

"Maybe onee-chan is right," Hina makes up her mind. "I should get my hair cut."

Then, Hina drifts off into sleep, despite her teacher's warnings.

* * *

_After Literature class, 10.06 pm._

All the barber shops are closed, not a single one is open, of course they wouldn't, it's 10 pm, all thanks to that stupid teacher.

Walking around the city square, looking at the night life that surrounds her, taking in the smells and sights at makes up the night market. 

She really wants takoyaki now, maybe onee-chan wants some.

Fishing out her wallet and jingling the the last of her coins out of the zipper, she paid the man, continues looking thru the market.

"Eh?" From the corner of Hina's eye, she spots a child, crying all alone, in a dim alley. 

Hina wanted to ignore her, go home, enjoy the takoyaki with onee-chan, but she just cant bring her heart to do so. 

"Hey," Hina says, "Are you lost." 

The boy sniffed, his nose puffy and eyes red. He just turns away.

"Hey," Hina tries again, slightly disheartened, but hand reached out anyway. "I'm here to help, i'll help find your mother."

The boy turns towards Hina, then accepts her hand allowing Hina to take him along.

Hina feels a tug on her blouse, followed by a finger pointing towards the takoyaki stall she visited prior.

Hina immediately pulled out the takoyaki that was meant for onee-chan, she was confident that she still had money for more.

Never in Hina Hikawa's has she seen a boy smile so brightly.

Hina reflected the smile on the child's face, before hearing a call.

"There you are!" An elderly woman's voice could be heard despite the hurry and scurry in the market.

"Thank you young lady!" The woman gives Hina her thanks, eyes littered with drops of tears.

"Did he give you hard time? He is mute so i hope you understand," Hina gives the woman a smile.

She had her suspicions on the child's identity after all. 

While she was lost in thought, the child pulled on her blouse once more before mouthing the words. "Please accept this gift."

The older woman laughs, explaining the scissors that he passed to her was the same one that his father used to cut his hair with, but he has passed on.

"Thus, he doesn't want to live in the past anymore," flashing Hina a toothless smile, the grandma continues. "He wants to learn the guitar!"

* * *

_After Literature class, 11.02 pm._

"You know what? Let's do it." Hina says to no one in particular as she enters the only music shop that is open 24/7 in her area. Heading straight for the toilets. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's chapter 3, can you feel the build up?  
> I know, i know there's not much HinaAya action yet, but i promise i'll put some in there soon enough. And if you thirsty people want some, i might just be tempted to add some, citrus, in there.  
> peace


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 will end most of Hina's back story and will focus on other stuff so yeah, enjoy.

_After Literature class, 11.54 pm._

"I'm home," Hina's voice could be heard though out the house, but lucky for her only Sayo was home, because mom and dad is on a "business trip."

"Hina! Why are you. What is that?" Sayo's voice trails away, "And what happened to your hair?"

Hina grins, "Nothing, nothing much changed." 

"Oh and this bad boy?" Hina says, patting the case strapped to her back. "It's a guitar."

* * *

 _12/24 1.07 p_ _m (Present)_

"What's wrong Hina?" Aya smirks, trying to put up a brave front towards the teal-haired girl who looked equally confident.

"Well, Aya-chan." Hina smiles, "My answer is the same as your to my question." 

"Which is?" Aya smiles nervously.

"Do _you_ still like me Aya-chan?"

Silence

"If I say no?" Aya replies, her head lowered, "Is your answer the same." 

Hina blinks, it was not even a question, it was a statement.

"No." Hina says, "Guess you know the truth now Aya-chan." 

Silence obvious in the room. Mouths agape and faces go slack.

"I need to use the toilet." Hina announces. 

Leaving nothing but a group of terrified girls and one pink haired, heartbroken girl.

* * *

 _12/24 1.09 p_ _m_

No way Hina's going back.

Not after that. 

Now Aya knows that she hasn't gotten over her. 

Was she thinking to much? No, it's normal.

Hina breaks into a sprint the moment she steps out the restaurant.

Why was she running? 

None of the Pastel*Palettes could even see her.

But Hina ran, she far and long, way pass the limit of 2 pm. Time stretched from the 2's to the 6's

Ran all the way from the restaurant all the way to her house a solid 7 kilometers away.

Her legs arched, her breathing hitches, the pain flares up her legs each time her soles touches the road.

But it numbs the pain in her heart. 

And that's all that matters. 

She can't let Aya see her pain. It'll play of Hina as clingy and obsessive.

And Hina doesn't want that, she wants Aya to be happy, even if the happiness was not shared with her.

But she can't help but question herself.

Is that really what she wishes for? 

Or does Hina want Aya all to herself.

She doesn't what it to be like that. 

Hina doesn't want anything to do with Aya's feelings especially if it breaks her apart. 

Hina will and has openly told everyone that she will do anything for Aya.

But is she willing to cut all relations with her? 

"Yes," Hina told herself, "I will do anything, even if that is the only way out. "

Her steps slows down, her heavy breaths slowly returning to a normal breathing rate. It was late, almost 7.30, her throat is ruined, her legs were numb and her heartbreak was slowly catching up.

She had to run. Despite that....

Hina takes a deep breath, and walks into the store.

"Moca-chan! Lisa-chan!" Hina forces a smile at the her two school mates, hoping they don't find anything wrong with her.

Because if onee-chan or Tsugumi-chan knows about her plans, it might get messy.

* * *

_12/24 7.21 pm One month after the fight/present_

Sayo has been camping around Tsugu's cafe quite quite a while already, hoping that she hasn't expanded all of her luck on getting her adorable girlfriend, she asks.

"Tsugumi-chan, can i get another cup of coffee?" She is _such_ a freeloader.

"Sure thing, Sayo-san." Tsugu smiles at her, melting her already liquidized heart. 

As Sayo went up to the counter to fill her cup, a thought popped into her head.

"Tsugumi-chan, why is Eve-chan not working again?" 

"Ah, she had a event with pasupare. If Hina-chan is going, I think the whole band would be there, but I dou-"

"She is." Sayo interjects, "There's a reason why i asked you out." 

Tsugumi feels a blush creeping up to her, she knows that Sayo-can didn't mean it _that_ way but...

"I-i mean, ask whether i can go to your cafe!" Sayo recovers, taking peeks at the girl's flushed face.

"So you basically forced Hina-chan to go?" 

"Well yes, but actually no." Sayo lifts up her right hand.

"Right."

Tsugumi could feel her phone sitting on the vibrate, seeking attention from it's owner.

"Ah, it's Moca-chan." Tsugumi says out loud. "Sorry Sayo-san, i have to take this call, do you mind manning the counter for a while?"

Sayo nods and waves her off, signalling Tsugumi to run to the back and pick up.

"Ah, Tsugu~." Moca's lazy voice could heard across the static.

"Moca-chan, what's up?" Tsugu smiles dearly, Moca taught her the phrase 'what's up' and she felt that she should return the favor by using it more often.

"Fufu~ I see my Tsugu-chan is all grown up, isn't Moca-chan mummy dearest?" Moca laughs, "Anyway, the great Moca-chan has picked up some signals from Hina-chan."

Tsugumi's heart stopped, Hina-chan?

"Yes," Tsugumi answers nervously. "Whats wrong with Hina-chan."

"Well, you remember what happened last time with me and Ran right?"

"Ah," Tsugu thinks back, she dealt with her own share of romance problems from her own band, "That was a rough time."

"Right?" Moca replies, "Anyway, Hina was acting quite weirdly and i think i should tell you." 

"Why me though? Shouldn't you be contacting Sayo-san?" 

"Well, i might be outside your cafe right now, just to find a Sayo-san taking my order," Moca's devilish grin could be heard though the phone.

"Sadly, 'The Tsugumi special' is only for Sayo-san but not for the great Moca-chan."

"Hey! Cut that out!" Sayo's voice could be heard in the background.

Tsugumi pops her head around the corner just in time for Moca to turn around and look at her.

"Just in time," Moca speaks into the phone before hanging up and getting jumped on by Sayo.

* * *

_12/24 7.30 pm Present_

"My, what happened here?" Lisa walks into her cafe to see her colleague and her band mate piled onto one another.

"Lisa-chan~, Sayo-san is bulling me.." Moca replies lazily ignoring the fact that she is literally being sat on.

"You started it by ask me for a 'Tsugu-' never mind." Sayo, Lisa grins at her band mate.

"Moca, I'm proud of you." Showing Moca her trademark cat-like smile.

Sayo grunts and hesitantly gets of the blonde.

"Anyway," Lisa continues, "I'm sure, or I hope Moca has given you the lay down on what happened, just now while at work."

Tsugumi nods, "Yeah, it's about Hina-chan, but before that, what is a "Tsugumi special?' " 

Moca nearly chokes on her coffee, Sayo's face turned brighter then the sun and Lisa tries to hold in her laughter. 

"Well, Tsugu-chan," Moca wipes her mouth, "That means that Sayo-san over here wants you naked but covered with only a ribbon, and no worries, I'll get you handcu-" 

Sayo's hand stopped Moca from revealing anymore of whatever wet dreams that Sayo may or may not have thought of. 

"So, Aoba-san, what about my sister?" Sayo quickly jumps right back to the main point. 

"Right," Lisa begins. "Basically, Hina dropped by the store quite a while ago, she seemed kinda fine, joking and all." 

"That sounds like Hina." Sayo says, "So what's so wrong about that."

"Yeah, but she joked a lot." Moca replies, grinning like she just won. "When someone who is usually turn cold or even quieter, there is something wrong. Same for funny people like me!"

Lisa coughs, " _Your_ funny?"

"That was very mean Lisa-chan," Moca sulks.

"Joking, joking~" Lisa apologizes. 

"Back to the point." Sayo interjects, genuine worry for her sister present on her face, an emotion she rarely shows.

"Right, so Hina was joking a lot more when we first saw her today." Moca carried on.

"Yeah, and she became quite right after that."

Sayo's face clouded with worry. "Sorry to dig into your history Aoba-san, but how were you feeling while you were in that stage of your life?"

"Pardon?" Moca tilts her head.

"I want to know what was your mental well being while you were in that phase." 

"Ah, well, number one was...."

Suicidal.

* * *

_12/24 8.00 pm Present_

"I guess Hina-chan ditched on us." Eve sighs. "I guess i'm really gonna commit seppuku."

Aya wants to commit seppuku as well, it's all her fault, she shouldn't have pushed Hina.

She shouldn't have forced Hina to answer her dumb questions. 

Why did she think the game was a good idea in the first place?

Despite what she plans on doing, Aya pats Eve's shoulder. "You are _not_ going to commit seppuku."

Eve sulks and shouts in rebellion. "Never! The way of Bushido tells me to follow my heart an pay for my sins!"

"Remember the 5000 yen you still owe me?" Maya reminds her.

"Urm, here..." 

Aya sighs, her band mates can be pretty dumb as well, heck, all the vocalist in the 6 bands can agree that their band mates are dumb. 

With the exception of Koroko, nothing gets into her head, Misaki will take that spot in her steed. 

Oh and her kohai, Kasumi can also be evicted of that spot give that to Arisa.

Then a ringing echo through the almost empty studio.

"Ah, sorry lemme pick this up." Aya hurriedly pulls out her phone an excuses herself.

"Sayo-san? Why is she calling right now?" Aya speaks to her herself.

"Hello?" Aya speaks.

"Maruyama-san!" Sayo's voice booms into her ear.

"Ouch, Hikawa-san." Aya winces. 

"My apologies. But this is quite the emergency." Sayo continues. "If you can't tell Hina is different these days."

"Yes and what about it?"

Thus, Sayo spent the next 5 minutes telling Aya about her suspicions she had about her sister.

"Was Hina at the event through out?"

"No..." Aya replies quietly, she really fucked up this time. 

"Fuck," Sayo lets out a rare swear, "I'm running for my house right now. Go to where you think Hina might be."

Aya hears Sayo's voice apologizing and thanking Tsugumi, Moca and Lisa, soon after, her slow steps break into a sprint. 

Aya wants to kill herself, she was so caught up with her own fat ego to care about the only person she would openly call her love, but she ruined it, she had to break up, she had to shout at Hina. 

"You still there Maruyama-san?" Sayo shouts into her phone. "You know why Hina is like this?"

"Let me enlighten you." Sayo practically screams into Aya's ear. "Because it your _**FAULT.**_ Does that sound familiar to you! WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU BLOCKED-HEADED TSUNDERE, HINA FUCKING LOVES YOU AND **_YOUR NOT_** GIVING UP ON HER!"

Aya's brain short circuited. She never expected to be scolded. She thought she has accepted her responsibility. 

But the guilt in her chest overwhelmed her. It hurts, her brain feel as if it's turning into mush, tears formulate in her eyes. Her knees grow weak. She really is usel-

"GET UP MARUYAMA! WHATEVER NEGATIVE THINGS YOUR THINKING OF RIGHT NOW IS WHAT HINA WAS THINKING!" Sayo's voice rang through her head. "You still love her right? Then, go get her."

Aya's head clears up, all the cloudy thoughts that hunts Aya in her dreams, in the past, in her rest, if there was a time to forgo it all, it is now.

Her throat, parched from the silent weeping that she done just moments ago, found brand new salvation. 

Using her sleeves to clean her teary eyes, Aya gets back up and speaks into the mic.

"Yes, got it, I'll find your sister." Aya's heart filled up with steely determination.

She was going to find Hina, if that's the last thing she is going to do. 

"Hear me Hikawa-san," Aya shouts back into her phone, "Once i get Hina back, she is mine, you better be ready to pay the marriage cert!"

"Thinking so far ahead Maruyama-san?" Sayo replies. "Go for it Aya-chan."

Breaking into a sprint, Aya thanks her band mates and her manager before running down flights of stairs, it's almost 8.30, she didn't have time to wait. 

She has to find Hina, she will get her back. 

No, Aya _must_ get her back and Aya will, she might not be Hina's sister, but she is confident that she'll find Hina before Sayo does.

* * *

_12/24 8.34 pm Present_

Hina was tired, climbing up a mountain probably wasn't the best idea at this time.

"At least no one can see me..." Hina says to no one in particular. 

She had a nasty headache a moment before but she feels refreshed right after for some reason. 

"Ah, it's onee-chan.." Hina picks up her phone.

She immediately regretted it. 

"HINA! WHERE ARE YOU." Her twin's voice blasted through her ear drums.

"Ouch, onee-chan." Hina replies, acting as casual as her teenage idol voice could muster. 

"Don't do anything weird Hina, me and Maruyama-san is looking for you." 

"Aya-chan?" Hina's voice was filled with genuine shock. "Why?" 

"Because she fucking _cares_? " Sayo's sudden aggressiveness takes Hina by shock.

"Was onee-chan angry at her?" Hina thinks to herself.

"Hina i know precisely what your thinking of. I am your sister." Sayo's voice was filled with rock hard confidence. 

"Onee-chan," Hina's voice grows shallow, "Do you hate me?" 

Sayo was taken aback by the question, was she such a bad onee-chan to Hina?

"Hina... I would never hate you." Sayo replies, hoping she calms down, "But there _is_ something i need to say to you."

"Hina, you have split personality disorder." Sayo gets straight to the point.

"That's a very onee-chan thing to say." Hina replies trying to push the suspicions that she had into her.

"This is NOT the time to be joking, Hina." Sayo shouts. "But thanks to your genius nature i'm sure you had your own suspicions and probably did not experience much memory lost." 

"Shit, that was a wrong move. I shouldn't reminded her of her genius stats." Sayo thinks to herself, praying for the best, hoping Hina doesn't use that point of argument.

"It's the IQ isn't it onee-chan."

Fuck.

"Hina..."

"I'm always getting in your way onee-chan." Hina's sobs "I wonder what world it will be without me?"

"Hina! No. Don't you fucking _dare_ , pull that stunt!" Sayo drops to her knees, Hina wouldn't do that right?

But somewhere deep in Sayo's heart know that Hina will do that, she has seen her sister lay unconsciousness with cuts layering her body. 

She has seen Hina lay beaten up and bruised by her class mates for answering _questions_. 

Which was ironic since Hina became more open and answered _more_ questions after being discharged from the hospital.

But that was also the time when the disorder became more prominent. 

Obvious mood shifts could be seen between her happy side and her 'Sayo' side, like a civil war that can only end with one victor.

The Hina that everyone knows won that war, but her original self seems to be making a comeback, and it was about time Sayo answered her own question.

"Hina... Come home, please." Sayo begged, tears in her eyes, she is _not_ losing her sister.

"Onee-chan.. I'm sorry."

* * *

_12/24 8.42 pm Present_

Aya ran, she ran till her legs hurt, her soles bled and her heart aches, lungs begging for oxygen. 

But she didn't stop, her legs feel the strain, her soles continue to bleed and her heart breaking apart more then usual. 

Climbing up a mountain after a full day of meet-and-greet was not on Aya's bucket list.

But she had a job more important than that.

This mountain holds quite a bit of memories for the whole band, they been here for the 'bravery test' and obviously she was paired with Hina.

She was nearing Hina, she knows it, Hina is right in front she knows it!

Pushing through the bushes and shrubs in front was the edge of a cliff with the round white moon looming over Japan.

"Hina!" 

No one.

Aya sighs, she was wrong. 

Her knees drop and she her eyes start to tear, wait, has she _done_ it? 

Aya rushes to the edge, no body

But that doesn't answer the question on where is Hina?

"Aya-chan?"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gentlemen if you have followed me till here, you 197 readers yes I counted.  
> It has reached the end...  
> Of course this calls for celebratory fluff or smut.  
> No worries I have both.  
> I'll put a warning for those who want to keep their eyes pure so relax. 
> 
> What should I write next?  
> Please do say because I want to cater to the fandom. So yeah  
> Peace


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final stretch is upon us, will Aya actually make Hina not commit suicide?  
> You probably fucking know the ans so don't bother answering that.  
> And the smut part should pretty obvious, so if your not into girls touching each other, i recommend u to skip but stay for the fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello its me again, we have reached the end of this, i don't expect much results but i hope at least someone enjoyed it.  
> Well, i suppose i should put some disclaimers now since most of the character's personalities didn't change and so didn't the background as it was plotted in a 'Winter Break' idea, thus, no school. But all characters are aged up to 18 and the since the only future scene is 2 years after.  
> I shall assume you passed your maths.
> 
> ANYWAY 
> 
> So here's the last chapter, enjoy.

_12/24 8.43 pm Present_

"Hina.." Aya mummers, she never felt to happy in her life.

Aya forced herself off her knees and reaches out to Hina, whose face was blocked by the shadow of the leaves and her teal-blue hair shinning under the moonlight.

Aya smiles, this was where Hina confessed, the happy memories flood back to her.

Before Aya could get near Hina, Hina breaks into a sprint in the opposite direction, back into the cover of darkness where trees and human almost exist as one.

"HINA!" Aya runs after, she is _not_ losing Hina now, not when she is so close.

Hina dashes through the thick and thin of the forest, jumping over rocks and stones that may be in her way.

Aya follows near, she may not be faster than Hina but she sure will try.

Pushing away the branches that continuously slaps Aya in the face, the wind rushing through her hair, making the trees wave and sway angrily. 

"Hina! I just want to talk!" Aya shouts, her words falling into deaf ears of the girl in front. 

"Guess I'll have to do it myself." Aya makes up her mind, whatever weak strength she had right now in her pathetic body will be devoted to getting Hina. 

She resists the urge to shout "LIMIT BREAK" like an anime character from a card game, before dashing forward, her legs carrying her faster then she ever ran. 

She _also_ resisted the urge to search, 'deja vu' and blast it full volume. 

Guess heartbreak really makes you do weird things. 

She skips over stones and ducks under branches, Hina's shirt was almost in reach! 

Reaching her hand out, she could feel the texture of Hina's cotton shirt licking against her fingertips. So close yet so far. 

Aya puts more energy into her legs propelling her forward even more, she feels herself tug against Hina's shirt.

"I-I got AHH-"

* * *

_12/24 8.45 pm Present_

Hina skids to a stop as she reaches the end of the cliff, she lost Aya right?

Boy was she wrong, when she turn around to catch a breather, she was caught wide open with a face full of Maruyama Aya running at dangerously high speeds in a forest, barreling towards Hina.

"Hina! I- got!" 

Then, Hina was slammed face first by an Aya who definitely did not see that slope. 

Thus, the duo then carried on to roll down the muddy, almost 45 degrees slope at extremely high speeds.

"If someone is gonna die." Hina tells herself, "It's not gonna be Aya." 

She grabs the back the pink haired girl's head pushing it nearer to her's, trying her best to prevent Aya from taking any damage.

Little did Hina expect the exact gesture from the other girl, Aya holds onto Hina head buried deep into Hina's chest but arms wrapped around the teal-haired girl's head.

Soon, the mayhem, rolled to a stop, literally. 

The two girls spoke a soundless conversation, agreeing to allow the other to hold on to the other for a while more.

"Hina.." Aya spoke up first lifting her head to look at Hina, who still has her nose buried in Aya's hair.

"Do you hate me?" 

"Aya-chan, i would never..." Hina replies, voice lower then her current mood, which was probably an all new low since she put her love in danger of _fucking dying_?

"Then, why did you run!" Aya screams, "I don't get you, Hina!"

Hina was quiet, it was her fault again.

Aya continues, places her head against Hina's chest once more. "If you fucking do care about me, why don't you stay and listen? If you do care, why don't you show it?" 

Hina keeps quiet, the forest echoing nothing more then silence.

Aya sniffs, her eyes tearing up again. 

And Hina knows it, without thinking twice, Hina lifts up Aya's face, stroking the sides of her face, caressing the tear-riddles face, touching every nook and cranny that Hina has yet to explore.

Aya's blinks, looking right into Hina's eyes who was busy calibrating everything she touches, the softness of Aya skin reverberated against Hina's heart. A small smile threatens to ruin Hina's calm composure. 

"Aya-chan," Hina finally speaks out, her hand still laying on Aya's cheek, "Please close your eyes."

Aya's heart skipped more than a beat, she was probably proclaimed dead for 3 seconds. 

Aya sees nothing but a fiery passion in Hina's eyes, nothing but what Aya wants. 

Thus, Aya gives in, letting herself become putty in Hina's arms, her eyes slowly closing and becoming nothing more than a thin line.

She feels Hina's breath, on her lips, the touch of Hina's hand touching her lips, before hearing a light giggle.

Hina was laughing, that devil.

"Hina!" Aya protest, her face blushing like a tomato.

"Sorry Aya-chan, i just think we should do that some where more _appropriate."_ Aya could swear she saw Hina blushing but the cloak of night constricts both's vision, allowing them to only make out shapes, much less the slightest blush Hina could produce. 

Hina gets up, and puts a hand up front, "C'mon Aya-chan," an evil grin smeared all over her face, the moonlight finally making her features more visible.

"Let me show you around." Hina smirks. And Aya's heart exploded, how can a mud covered person be so hot?

"I'm glad your back, Hina-chan."

"What do you mean? I never left!"

* * *

_12/24 11.35 pm Present_

Aya had to call Sayo to rest well, since she found Hina but Sayo was not to rest till she hears her sister, who promptly cried on facetime after seeing her twin.

"Hope, Sayo's asleep." Aya whispers, Hina just smiles.

'Click' the sound of the key unlocking the front door brings a smile to Aya's face, this was her second time entering the Hikawa residence. 

"Come one Aya-chan, my room's over here." Hina whispers, holding Aya's hand.

Causing the vocalist to blush a little from the contact.

"There we go." Aya grins as she locks the door. "Don't mind me, I'll just showe- HEY!" 

Before Aya could pick up the clothes she borrowed from Hina, Hina rushes into the bath and makes it her own, well, it is already her's, but you know what I mean.

"Heehee" was all that came out from the bath before the sound of water splashes onto the tiled surface.

Smiling, Aya sits on Hina's bed, thinking about the days events. 

It all ended up well. 

And it was about to get better.

* * *

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

~~ **_Yes, my child, it is smut time._ ** ~~

* * *

_12/25 12.01 am Present_

Aya sighs contentedly, who knew a hot bath was all she needed. All dressed and ready for bed, preferably one shared with Hina. Please don't tell Hina!

Aya opens the sliding door, to get a face-full of Hina. 

"Aya-chan~" Hina cuddles, pushing her head deep into Aya's breast.

"H-Hina!?" Aya shrieks, "W-what are you d-doing?" 

Aya glances Hina from head to toe, Hina was dressed in _her_ Pastel*Palettes outfit. 

"Hina? Where did you get tha-mmm" Aya's words was cut short by Hina's aggressive kissing, pushing Aya against the wall, pinning Aya's hands against it with her own, Hina runs her leg between Aya's thighs, earning a soft purr from Aya.

"Shh, less questions, Aya-chan." Hina whisper in Aya's ear, biting on it softly, before releasing her grip on Aya's wrists.

"Want a piece of me~" Hina winks, laying on her bed. "Come and get it, I thought you liked idols?" 

Aya may or may not have licked her lips.

She dives straight for the teal-haired girl, biting hard on Hina's neck.

"Oh~, Aya-chan is a top now? Interesting." Hina teases.

Aya ignores Hina's words and continues to plant kisses up and down Hina's neck, sucking on Hina's supple skin, causing blemishes to appear every where.

"Just fucking moan already..." Aya looks up, to see a completely flushes Hina, gripping the sides of her bed sheets, her teeth biting on her lips.

Aya get down to further business, she hooks her hand behind Hina's dress, Hina squirms, allowing the dress to slide off her easily. 

Aya continues to plant kisses down Hina's neck, un-clipping the bra that holds back Hina's breast.

Taking a good amount of Hina's breast, Aya squeezes, finally earning a moan of pleasure from the other girl. 

But Aya's lips doesn't stop as she dives deeper and lower into Hina's body.

Kissing Hina's stomach, Aya feels her hair being tugged on, pushing it further down, Aya obliges and continues to make her way down, while planting some hickeys here and there.

Ah, the main attraction, Aya releases her grip on Hina's breast which has been squeezed pretty roughly, with nail dents printed in them.

Aya calmly pulls the cotton panty to the side, and uses a finger to run through Hina's silt once, running her fingers up and down Hina's wet cunt.

"Itadakimasu..." Aya whispers.

"Huh?" 

"Shut up Hina."

Aya continues to lick the edge of Hina's silt, earning louder moans from Hina. 

As the pace increases faster and faster, she soon dives right in, Aya's feels Hina's legs tightening around her head, her soft tights slowly closing on her, forcing Aya to gasp for air.

But Aya's doesn't stop licking, is she enjoying this? 

Of course she is, what the fuck?

Hina continues to pull onto Aya's pink locks, her head tosses and turns, her whole body squirming under Aya's loving touch.

Aya could feel Hina's body pushing against her face, wanting more pleasure. 

Bur Aya had other plans, Hina has always been the tease in the relationship, it was probably time for Aya to get some revenge. 

"Aya-chan..." Hina's voice weak from the waves of pleasure that she was experiencing. "I'm gonna... eh?"

Aya's head jerks back, just before Hina could make a mess of her face. 

"Come on, Aya-chan." Hina pouts, her face red and flushed. " I was so close..."

"That's what you get for doing all the teasing." Aya smirks. 

"Ara ara~, Aya-chan~." Hina growls, "You may be done with me, but _I'm_ not~."

Hina rushes forward and locks Aya in a full frontal assault on her lips and face.

Kissing and basically making a mess of Aya's night facial schedule. 

"Hina-a!" Aya was caught by surprise, which she honestly shouldn't be.

Hina pushes Aya onto the bed, making the seemingly prominent 'top' back as the bottom in the relationship once again.

Hina leans down and bites Aya's neck, using that infamous incisor to bit down and guarantee a mark that probably last for at least a week.

Aya's mind goes completely blank, she combs Hina's hair back behind her ears, digging her head deep into the nape of Hina.

Allowing soft moans to escape her lips. Motivating Hina even more to bite down.

Hina suddenly stops. "You sound cute even when you getting fucked." 

"Hina!" Aya shouts just to get cut of by Hina kissing her aggressively once more.

"By the way, Aya-chan," Aya could feel Hina's smirk on her neck.

"I heard that, so, Itadakimasu."

Aya's head rolls back in pleasure as Hina forces 2 fingers into Aya's wet pussy, the panty barely providing any protection from Hina's attacks.

Soon a third joined in, then a fourth and now it was basically Hina fisting Aya. "Heehee Aya-chan, just look at yourself~" 

"Stop-p teasing me-e, Hina-a-chan..." Aya moans, "Just-t fucking, do it!" 

Hina removes her fingers from Aya's dripping cunt, Aya probably has already cum at least 3 times but her head just grows lighter and lighter.

Hina traces her fingers up Aya's body, eyeing each of Aya's round, supple breast that bounces up and down with each jolt of pleasure Hina applies. 

Sitting back while lifting the seemingly drained Aya-chan's legs, Hina places her dripping cunt on Aya's purring upon contact.

Hina arches her back to be face to face with Aya. "I love you so much..." Hina whispers before aggressively grabbing Aya's boobs and rubbing her clit against Aya's.

Causing both girls to groan and moan in pure ecstasy. "Ah, Hina..." Aya moans, the shocks of pleasure slowly getting to her brain. Numbing her other senses, all she could feels the joy of Hina's wet pussy rubbing against her's and the boob squeezing didn't lower the volume of moans at all.

Hina grins at her girlfriend who was laying in her hands, boobs squeezed and pussy dripping wet, Hina lifts Aya up even further, earning a whimper from Aya. 

Hina gets to work, licking Aya's already lubricated pussy, slowly with a loving touch next to it, causing Aya to squirm.

"Hina.." Aya begins to complain just to get her boobs flicked by Hina. Signalling Aya to just lean back and enjoy the ride.

Hina sticks barely a finger into Aya, using her tongue to dwell into Aya.

Aya groans, Hina is _such_ a tease, she tries to push her body onto Hina's finger just to feel Hina's fingers no longer existent in her pussy. 

"Aren't you a feisty one, Aya-chan?" Hina teases further.

Aya rolls her eyes and concedes, giving into Hina's warm embrace. 

Hina slowly pushes and pulls her finger in and out barely using her tongue slowly bring Aya to her climax.

Hina climbs onto Aya, pushing her body further into the soft futon, as Hina whispers into Aya's ear. 

"Cum for me Aya-chan~, Hina-chan wants to see you cum~." Hina giggles into Aya's ear.

"Hinaaa..." Aya moans, her body jerking along with her climax, wetting Hina's bed sheets.

"Fueh, Hina," Aya groans, "That was the slowest fucking fingering i have ever gotten." Slapping Hina's arm.

"Heehee. Aya-chan?" Hina smiles at her girlfriend who was still flustered by the entire experience.

"What?"

"I love you~."

* * *

_END OF LEEMOON_

* * *

_12/25 9.21 am Present_

The morning sky shone bright blue as rays of golden light shimmy through the gaps in the curtain of clouds. The birds chirp in the background layering a chorus of sounds one may choose to savor or hate. 

For Hina, Hikawa Hina _and_ Maruyama Aya, it's the first. 

The duo woke up half naked, Hina still in Aya's idol outfit and Aya wearing Hina's shirt.

"Hmmm." Hina groans, her arms and legs wrapped around Aya.

"Morning sleepyhead." Aya giggles. 

"Aya-chan~" Hina asks sheepishly. "Did you dream of me?"

Causing Aya to blush furiously. "Maybe."

* * *

_Aya's 'dream'_

"Aya, I'm just going to get straight to the point." Hina says, giving the other girl a slight smile. "I'm leaving Japan, tomorrow."

"W-what?" Aya stutters. "Why didn't ask me first?" 

"Well, I just wanted to go look around? You know explore the world? Climb mountains, sail the seas and explore other... Jungles?" Hina smirks. "Other then the one. Down their I suppose. 

Aya followed the direction of Hina's finger.

"HINA!" Aya feels her face turn to a shade of red as she hurriedly hides her face to stop any sort of color from entering Hina's keen eyes.

"Hehe. Aya-chan, your face is all red now~" Hina grins, smiling innocently. "You don't have to worry Aya-chan~. I can give you one last 'farewell gift' before I go~" 

Hina sticks out her tongue and puts it between her index and middle finger, and with her other middle finger, she starts to wiggle it around. Causing the pink haired girl to turn into a shade that was darker the the red on 'Random Star'.

"Hina." Aya says between breaths. "I love you but you can be fucking annoying sometimes."

Hina's laughter was heard echoing through the cafe. 

After Hina's laughter has calmed down, she continued with what the original plan was. "Anyway Aya-chan, I was wondering whether you would like to come along. Since i do have an extra ticket just in case..."

Hina rubs her arms nervously, "I know your busy with your idol stuff and we barely see each other face to face, me with my astrolog-."

Hina was cut short by Aya's lips.

"You fucking idiot, of course i would follow you." Aya smiles, adjusting the glasses of her disguise. "We're married after all~"

* * *

_12/25 11.21 am Present_

"Hina-chan is alright?" Tsugumi smiles at her girlfriend. "That's great!" 

Sayo grins and walks into the cafe. "Yeah, now I owe Maruyama-san a marriage certificate." Sayo laughs.

Tsugumi just smiles, leans down to give Sayo a peck on the cheek.

"Well, I'm just glad everything is all right." Tsugu smiles dreamily. "On that note, Sayo-san, _where_ is Hina-chan."

Sayo just looks out, "Somewhere with Maruyama-san i suppose. I did see the two share a bed anyway."

* * *

_12/25 4.21 pm Present_

"Hina?" Maya rushes forward to greet her friend, "What happened to you?" 

Hina was soon piled with questions and threats to commit seppuku if she ever pulls a stunt like that ever again.

"Well, actually, I'm here to answer your questions!" Hina grins. "No more secrets! Hina-chan is wide open!" 

The most obvious and important questions came first.

"W-where did you get the full collection of 'Yuri is My Job' ?" 

"When are you free? Your watching a movie."

And everyone's favorite.

"Where the hell did you learn Finnish?"

Of course, the more serious questions rolled around and Hina was honestly more then glad to share, it removes a weight that Hina was carrying since young.

"So basically, I suffer from, DID, bipolar and depression!" Hina says with a smile which effeminately contradicts what she just said.

"But you don't have to worry," Aya cuts in, "After this we are going to a doctor." Aya smiles at Hina, grabbing Hina's hand who was placed casually on the coffee table.

Chisato smiles. "I see, you've made your move Aya chan."

Which caused the vocalist to blush.

Vocalist don't have right's don't they.

"Yeah, sure thing Chisato-chan," Aya smirks. "But you see the thing is.."

Aya leans towards Hina, her hand reaching out to cup her cheek.

"Me and Hina-chan here." Aya grins eyeing Hina, who has turned bright red.

"Are married."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY, I DID IT.  
> so that was the ending, i shall once again openly promote myself, tell me if you have anything for me to write which i will then write.  
> The wait list is literally 0 people so go ahead, unless it's my NOTP then im sorry.  
> Other fandoms i'm in are Railgun, Index, Akashic Records of Bastard Magic Instructor.  
> I know, i know i have shit taste, anyway. if there is no wants, ill carry on with my other otp which is MocaRan or KasuAri.
> 
> Anyway i would like to thank the 200+ people that may or may not stayed with me through put but thanks anyway.
> 
> peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Basically all my otps in one fuck load of smut, depression and other nice lil things.  
> It's currently on MayaEve (Maya X Eve DUH), if ya'll are fan of Aya X Chisato or stm sorry, ya, Hina is Aya's gf, fight me.  
> Below is the full list that im supposed to write by the end of the year hopefully.
> 
> These are the main relationships in the whole series, in order of writing.  
> So yall will know what i'm going to write next. Those in brackets are implied.
> 
> HinaAya (SayoTsugu, MayaEve) DONE  
> MocaRan (SayoTsugu, YukiLisa, TomoHima) DONE  
> Kasuri (SaayaTae, MocaRan, MasukiRei) DONE  
> KaoChisa (HinaAya, MayaEve) DONE  
> MayaEve (HinaAya, KaoChisa, SayoTsugu)  
> SayoTsugu (YukiLisa, AkoRinko, HinaAya)  
> AkoRinko (Chu²Pareo, YukiLisa)  
> RokkaAsuka (MasukiRei, YukiLisa)  
> YukiLisa (SayoTsugu, HinaAya)  
> And I'll end it off with another  
> HinaAya (Every Fucking SHIP STATED ABOVE.)
> 
> Now looking back. Thats a lot of ships.  
> A total of 10 Fics and guess what, I only on 5....
> 
> KaoChisa is DONE. WEEEE
> 
> I also might slide in a few side stories between each story if time allows
> 
> Please look forward to it! Remember to bookmark the series if your interested, it gives my the will to keep on writing and boosts my ego, so thank you for supporting me!"o, so thank you for supporting me!"


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